


runaways

by ghostscribe



Series: 9,000 meters above sea level [9]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, i guess?, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-06-20 00:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15522531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostscribe/pseuds/ghostscribe
Summary: Touya is looking for N, who has been missing for years. He meets someone else who has been in hiding for even longer, though.





	1. snow and ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course N isn't up here. Someone else is, though, and Touya wants to make a difference.

 

He's looked everywhere else. 

It's taken over two years for Touya to get this far, to search through six whole regions, desperately searching for someone who he may never see again. Maybe this is all in vain, maybe this is all for nothing, but Touya isn't about to give up. His friend has been through too much, he's suffered for too long, he's been far too alone for his whole entire life, and he's not about to give up, not now, not ever, not even if it takes the rest of  _his_ entire life. What happened to him wasn't fair, couldn't have possibly been fair. He's experienced, witnessed absolutely needless cruelty, both his own abuse and that of the Pokémon around him. Touya is not about to let that go. He's not about to let someone who's suffered so much continue to suffer _alone_. He's going to find him, and when he does, he's going to protect him with everything he has. 

Yes, Touya is going to find N, and he's not going to let him get hurt ever again. 

The trouble now is actually finding N, though. He's been searching for well over two years. He's looked all across Unova, Sinnoh, Hoenn, Johto, Alola, Kalos... all that's left for him to explore is the Kanto region, that region and this mountain. He's decided to come here for the sake of cutting down his travel time; the faster he can do this, the less time N has to run off somewhere else, and the more likely it is that Touya will find him. 

He understands why N left, yes. He'd been held prisoner by Team Plasma for his entire life, and if Touya had been confined to a single room and constant abuse, he can't say he wouldn't want to run away to some obscure corner of the world. That doesn't mean he misses N any less. In the year Touya spent dealing with Team Plasma and reaching Unova's Pokémon League, he and N became very close, almost magnetically drawn to each other. N insisted for the better part of that year that it was because they were two opposing heroes, always destined to be drawn to one another, but Touya had always assumed otherwise. 

_This is what happens when you make friends,_ he said. 

And N, in a moment of disbelief, had to spend a minute processing the information. _Friends?_

_Yeah, friends._

And N smiled. Touya misses that smile so, so much. 

"N!" Touya shouts into the wind. Of course there's no answer. N probably isn't even here, but Touya isn't going to leave until he's sure of it. He's been on this mountain for three days at this point, scouring every inch of the rocks. Mount Silver is apparently so perilous that he had to properly challenge one of Kanto's top trainers to determine if he would be able to actually come up this far. He got to bypass some other battles by virtue of the nature of this situation, the more professional aspect of his hunt for N. 

N Harmonia is known to be the King of Team Plasma, but Touya has resolved to prove his innocence. 

"N?" No answer, of course. His fingers are icy cold. He really should have brought thicker gloves.  "N!" 

It started with N, yes, but Touya's work spans through the whole scope of the reformed members of Team Plasma. Everyone had been used by Ghetsis for his own nefarious plans, his own delusions of perfection and his own desire for the world to be his own. There's a clear divide in the members of Team Plasma who do and do not support Ghetsis, now, and for those who don't support him, for those who didn't even know what they were getting into, for those who only wanted to stop the abuse of Pokémon, those are the ones he works for. Those are the ones Touya is fighting for, the ones he wants to support, because even if he's forgiving to a fault, he'll be damned if he's doing to damn the ones who were manipulated and hurt. He doesn't care how much havoc Team Plasma caused: nothing is ever black and white, and the whole team isn't inherently evil no more than they are good. 

It's those who never wanted this chaos that he's going to help, and he is legitimately, legally trying to find as many of them as he can to help pardon them. 

"N!"

On a personal level, though, it's about N, just N. 

"N?"

N isn't answering, though. Touya wouldn't still be looking if it were so simple. 

"N!"

He can hear his own desperation in his voice, straining against the wind and his own screams. 

"N?!"

He's not here. Touya is shivering more violently now. 

"N, please!"

He's not here. 

"N, answer me!"

His fingers ache at the cold. His heart aches more. He misses N so much it hurts. 

"Are you here?"

Of course not. 

"It's Touya!"

No answer. 

"N..."

He's losing his voice already. How much has he been screaming?

"I miss you!"

Motion. 

"...N?"

That's a human figure over there, but Touya can't make out anything else through the gales of snow. He has a hat, but that's about all he can see from here. 

"Is that - " _you?,_ but his voice is cut off when he feels the ground shift.

He doesn't know why the rocks start to tumble, but they do, and it's only in this moment that he realizes how close he is to this edge, and it's only now that he notices how high up he is, and it genuinely takes him a moment to process that he's falling _oh god no -_

There's a huge wave of pain that shoots through him so agonizingly that he blacks out immediately. 

 

* * *

 

He wakes up, shockingly. 

Touya manages to open his eyes, and for some reason the first thing he sees is a lightbulb overhead. Wasn't he just on a mountain? Isn't he still on a mountain? He has to be, gauging by both the rocky ceiling above him and the earthy ground below him. There shouldn't even be a dead lightbulb in here, though, unless there's some abandoned mine in here that Touya doesn't know about. The crackling fire that fills the space with its warmth is very welcomed, though. He could just lay here for a little while. 

It seems like he's going to have to, in fact, because even trying to roll over sends a piercing pain through his right leg. Great. It's broken. 

...then how did he get here?

Touya manages to sit up, his eyes adjusting to the relative darkness of this cave. He can't really move around in this state, but he can at least try to get a reading on his surroundings. The only other features of this cavern are a pile of medical supplies on the other end of the space, a large hunk of rock jutting up in the middle as if nature wanted a table in here, and a six foot wall of rock leading up to presumably another part of the cave. Otherwise, the space is untouched. 

"...N?" 

No answer. It was a long shot to assume N had - 

_"Lax..."_

Touya almost jumps, then winces again at the pain he keeps causing himself. He looks to his right to see a Snorlax laying sleepily beside the back wall. Are those even native here? Touya knows Snorlax tend to live in mountainous areas to get the food they need to survive, but he doesn't recall Green mentioning them when he briefed him on the mountain. Green did mention - 

And suddenly, at the thought of the Viridian City gym leader, the first Champion of the Indigo League, something he said comes back to Touya's mind. 

_My friend lives up there, by the way. He's an idiot for staying somewhere so inhospitable, but... he has his reasons. You probably won't ever meet him, but if you see someone, don't be surprised._ He paused tentatively, the continued, _Red is... Red. I'm not mad at him - I mean, he's a wonderful person, but he's kinda hard to work with when he's... y'know, hiding. Y'know what? If you meet my runaway while you're looking for yours, tell him I miss him, okay? Just... yeah. Whatever. Good luck and all that._

Is this where Red lives?

Holy shit is this where the actual Pokémon World Champion lives?

Touya looks back over at Snorlax, as if the large bear could offer some sort of answer, but she appears to be sleeping soundly, as Snorlax tend to do. Maybe he can try to inch over to her, or maybe he can haul himself on his hands toward the medicine pile and see if anything over there could help him. 

"...fffffuck that hurts..." Literally any movement he makes to his leg right now is agonizing, though, so he's going to have to wait it out. He has to wonder why the champion decided to live on a mountain, though, and why he seems to be so distant from everyone, including his best friend. Is he just that much of a hermit? Is he just training up here in secret? Is it something else? It's not really any of Touya's business, in all honesty. He knows why N left, and he could try to extrapolate that to Red, but... N is a special case. 

"...N!"

His voice echoes off the walls. No answer, though. Of course N didn't bring him here. This can't be where N is hiding. He has no use for potions like those, preferring to only heal his Pokémon with berries and natural remedies. Hell, N doesn't even have his own Pokémon. The only one that N didn't definitively release is Reshiram, and as far as Touya knows, he might still have the dragon with him. A Snorlax would be totally out of the question for N, though. 

He hear footsteps, though, and his eagerness and longing for a long lost friend urges him to try and move despite the pain. He barley moves a foot from his spot before the ache is too awful for him to do anything but groan. 

"Fuck..." Touya looks back down at his leg. At least it isn't bent horribly out of place, but...

The footsteps stop quite suddenly; Touya isn't sure what he expected. 

He's never actually seen pictures of Red before, and because Green never really described him, it's not like Touya had any expectations. Nonetheless, this isn't really what he thinks is fitting for a champion; as if he's one to talk. He just looks so young, though, in a weird sort of way, even though he's supposed to be the same age as Green. He's pretty short, his hair is a mess, his hat is old and worn, he's covered in snow and traces of sleep deprivation, and the frost dripping off him makes him look like some kind of snow ghost, not quite dead but certainly not quite alive.

Touya doubts he looks to be in much better condition himself, admittedly.

"Um... hi." Touya ventures to greet him. Red (if this really is Red) waves quietly. "Are you Red?"

That seems to startle him, and he sends out a pink cat-like Pokémon - Espeon, if Touya recalls correctly. The cat quickly adjusts to her surroundings and locks her eyes on Touya.

_"May I ask what business you have on Mount Silver, trainer?"_

Oh. Oh wow, that's... weird. Touya knows psychic Pokémon can sometimes communicate telepathically, but it's still jarring, considering he only has Reuniclus, and he never speaks to Touya. "I-I, uh..."

_"If you came for a battle, the answer is no, for now,"_ she says cooly. _"You've been too badly injured."_

"Y-Yeah, I, um..." he shifts a bit, as he tends to do when he's anxious, and he hisses at the pain yet again. "I-I'm not here for that."

_"Oh?"_ Her tail stops mid-swing, curiously perked up. _"What might you be here, for?"_

Touya feels a little awkward making his case to a Pokémon, rather than the World Champion who's _literally right there,_ but he calms himself about the situation when he realizes this is exactly what N would do if he were here. "I-I'm currently investigating the case on Team Plasma's activity and occupation in the Unova region from two years ago. My, um, my work focuses primarily on differentiating willing participants of the leader Ghetsis's plans, and those who were manipulated and coerced against their will into subservience." 

_"I see."_ She takes a few paces towards him, and Red sends Charizard out into the cave, and for a few seconds Touya thinks they're going to attack him or something. _"Why might that business bring you here, then?"_

"I'm looking for members of Team Plasma who were used, w-who didn't know what they were getting into when the whole thing started," Touya answers. Charizard lays lazily on the ground along the back wall. Red is doing something, but Touya doesn't want to take his eyes off Espeon for too long. 

_"I believe we can assure you no one else lives up here, and we haven't had any visitors in over a year."_ Espeon eyes Red cautiously as she says (thinks?) this. _"It's been... quiet."_

Touya follows her gaze. Red is shuffling through a bag of something, but he doesn't look up. 

_"I believe you may be frostbitten, yes?"_ She nudges his hand with her head, and he winces again.

"Shoot, I-I guess so. I was trying to keep my hands in my pockets, a-and I even had gloves on..."

_"That will get you nowhere when you're up here,"_ she hums. _"Though, you don't seem to be horribly injured by the cold. I suppose it's more of a frost nip. Does that sound right, Red?"_

The champion only nods. Espeon walks over to him.

_"I understand you're preoccupied with your own thoughts, Red, but that's no excuse to be rude. You typically at least look in the direction of your company."_

Touya thinks he hears Red say something, but it's not nearly a loud enough whisper to hear.

_"I understand that. You can't worry yourself about whether he misses you or not right now. You have company, and your company is injured, so - "_

"Are you talking about Green?"

_That_ gets Red's attention, makes him whip around so fast Touya feels his own head spin a bit. _"We are, yes. Why do you ask?"_

"Uh..." Is this a good time to say this, if Red is so somber? Is this what Green meant when he said that _Red is... Red,_ or is there something more? He can't exactly hide his thoughts now, though. "I-I, um, talked to him for a bit before I came up here, a-actually."

_"What did he say?"_ Red shakes his head a little, or maybe Touya is imagining the gesture, he can't tell.

"He... um, Red," the champion jolts at the sound of his name, "he said he misses you."

A long quiet minute hangs in the air between them, and Touya worries he messed up horribly.

"Tell him I miss him, too."

Red turns away again at that. 

"...will do."

_"Red, don't you think you should make sure our guest is healing?"_

"Already checked." His voice sounds really strained.

Espeon shakes her head and walks back over to Touya. _"My apologies. Red hasn't been in the best state of mind as of late. He doesn't mean anything by it."_

Touya sighs a bit himself. "I-I haven't been doing much better either, s-so I don't blame you. I've been looking for someone for a few years, now." Pause. "I-I dunno. I don't wanna believe he's..."

"Dead, but it's been too long, and he doesn't know how worried you've been."

Touya feels his heart stop. That was way too on the nose. "Y-Yeah..."

It takes Red a minute to say anything else. "Sorry."

"W-What - why are you apologizing to me?"

Red jumps a little, turns to face Touya, and something in his expression seems to sink before he turns away again. "S-Sorry. Confused."

_"Your guilt is causing you to confuse him for Green, is that it?"_ Red shudders at her words.

"I-I mean," Touya quickly tries to resolve the tension somehow, "w-what you said was really right on the money, s-so, um, I-I just got kinda startled, b-because it was really accurate, is all."

Espeon stares intently at Red. He doesn't acknowledge either of them.

"I-I'm sorry, Red. I didn't mean to open a can of worms or anything..."

_"It's something he needs to confront nonetheless. Red has been refusing to acknowledge the emotional strain he's putting himself through by isolating himself."_ Red is shaking a bit. Touya wants to believe Espeon means well, but this certainly isn't doing Red any good.

"I-I guess so, but Green said he has his reasons for being up here."

_"He does have his own urges, but - "_

"A-And he said he's not mad at you, Red." As someone else who's been missing a friend who's disappeared into the ether, Touya thinks maybe Red needs to hear that. Espeon seems a little annoyed. 

_"That doesn't mean you can stay here forever, Red."_

"B-But you're not in trouble."

_"Red..."_

Red holds out Espeon's pokéball. Without another word, she allows herself to be recalled. Red slumps over a bit, shivering, not at the cold but seemingly crying. If Touya could move any closer - well, he's not even sure if a hug would be appropriate for someone who came to hide on a mountain for years on end, but at least the sentiment is there. 

"...did you make that up?"

Touya shakes his head, even though he knows Red can't see the gesture. "Of course not. He just mentioned you were up here, a-and he told me a little about you." Pause. "He specifically told me to let you know he misses you."

"He stopped coming up here." Pause. "I stopped writing, though."

"Maybe you should write to him again."

"Tried to. Didn't work."

"Ah."

Red walks over to Charizard with what looks to be a bucket of water. "Dunno what to say."

Touya shrugs. "Anything."

"...anything?"

"I-If I could just know that N is alive somewhere, I-I would wanna hear from him, no matter what he has to say."

"What if he says he hates you?"

Ouch.

_Ouch._

"H-He wouldn't - "

"If."

_God that hurts to even consider -_

"I... A-At least I would know he's alive."

Red is quiet. Charizard growls softly at him, an almost comforting noise.

"I'm fine." At least, that's what Touya thinks Red just said. He can't quite hear.

Touya notices his backpack is sitting next to him, and in a desperate attempt at changing the subject if only a little, he reaches over and digs out the pictures of N he has. A few of them are from news clippings, from before Touya defeated Team Plasma, but he's only looking at the one dim photo he took with N in Chargestone Cave, one evening after he was supposed to have left and continued on his quest to find the Light Stone. Touya never thought he'd have to explain what a selfie is to someone around his age, but somehow, that's the topic that came up that night.

_It's when you take a picture of yourself, basically. Sometimes it's of you and your friends._

_Friends?_ The word still seemed foreign to N, to say _friends_ in reference to anything other than Pokémon.

_Yeah, like - here, you wanna take one now? You just have to smile, okay?_

N... N wouldn't hate him, right? Touya doesn't know if he could carry on living if he did. 

"...Red."

The champion jolts again, spilling little droplets of the water being heated over Charizard's tail. "What?"

Touya holds out the pictures to Red, and to his relief, Red doesn't try to take them; somewhere in Touya's mind, he worries that losing these images will erase N from existence. "Have you seen him?"

Red shakes his head slowly. Figures. 

"R-Right. Sorry."

"...It's okay." His voice is always barely above a whisper. 

"H-He's kinda why I came up here to begin with," Touya explains absently. "I-I need to bring him home so he can tell us about his time in Team Plasma, a-and I can prove he's innocent."

"Innocent?" 

"Their leader was using most of the people around him to his advantage, b-but a lot of members of Team Plasma didn't realize that Ghetsis was behind everything. N's goal was to liberate Pokémon from people b-because he was raised to believe all people are abusive to their Pokémon, a-and... I-I mean, th-that's obviously not the case, s-so ultimately it was... h-his heart was in the right place."

Red looks up at Charizard with a particular look in his eyes, maybe anxiety or pensiveness. 

"H-He doesn't believe that anymore, by the way," Touya quickly adds. "He told me I proved that people and Pokémon live in harmony together before he, um, left."

"Where?"

"I have no fucking clue," he sighs, and the weight of N being _gone_ hits Touya all at once in the way that it does sometimes. "Th-That's why I've been to almost every region looking for him. I-I have no idea where he went, a-a-and I just... want him back. I-I don't know if something awful happened to him, o-or if he's just happy living alone, or..." He takes one breath to try and steady himself. "We need to talk to him, a-and personally? I miss him so much it hurts."

Red is sitting in front of Touya, now, having moved so quietly that he didn't even hear the champion move. He wraps a warm, wet towel around Touya's hands without a word, drapes one more over his ankle (that must be where the worst of the break happened), then Red goes back over to the bucket and continues heating the water. 

"...sorry. I-I guess I shouldn't be dumping all this on you."

"Do."

"...I'm sorry, what?"

"Keep talking."

Somehow, he catches on pretty easily. "Is this about Green?"

Red had seemed fairly calmed down, but now he's just sobbing _fuck no no no -_

"H-Hey, hey, i-it's okay, I-I won't mention it again, o-okay?" No answer. "L-Look, i-i-if me missing N is anything to go off of, whenever I find him, I-I'm just gonna be really happy - _elated_ to find him safe and sound, y-you know? I-I, um, I really, _really_ couldn't be mad at him. H-He has his reasons for leaving, a-and I'm not mad, I just... miss him."

"I do too." Red misses Green, rather, is what that sentiment means. 

"S-So, um..." Fuck, what can he say that won't make Red feel worse? "Whenever you two reconnect, I-I'm sure Green is just going to be overjoyed that you're alive. H-He said he's not mad at you now, a-and I don't think he's going to be. He said you're a wonderful person." 

"...horrible friend, though."

"No. N's not horrible for leaving, and neither are you," Touya insists. Charizard wraps his wing around Red, who seems to be calming down just a little. 

"...maybe." He doesn't sound even remotely convinced, but that's better than nothing. 

"I-I'm not here to force you to visit him or anything, b-but, um, just... don't be scared of seeing him again." Honestly, that's something Touya has been telling himself, too. He tries to avoid the idea of N hating him to keep himself steady, but now his worries are coming back up quietly, assassins in the night. 

"...okay." Red rubs his eyes and crawls across the cave. "Hungry?"

Starving, actually, but he's going to try to keep some dignity. "K-Kinda, yeah."

"Stir-fry."

"Sounds good to me."

Red puts a bag of noodles (wait, how did he even get those?) in the pot and starts preparing the meal. "Keep talking."

"I-Is that okay?"

Pause. "If you want. Talk about N."

So Touya lets all the happy memories zip through his mind and out of his mouth, because he can't bare to cry about N for the seventh time in two days. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the events that happen several months before the events of ReuNite, and at about the tail end of Red's stay on Mount Silver! can you tell Red has been here too long and is a sad boy bc he is a very sad boy ;u; i'll definitely write Red and Ethan's meeting eventually (and maybe some actual fluff for once in my life) but i got a bit ahead of myself here lol. this one might actually be multiple chapters btu i havent decided yet so we'll see!  
> also it's 6am so pls excuse any mistakes in here ghjkfdgf


	2. contemplation and realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time seems to move slower on the mountain. Touya and Red share some thoughts they've been carrying for years.

"What's Unova like?"

Touya looks up from his pokédex he was scrolling through when Red speaks. He doesn't have much else to do on this mountain, since he didn't expect to stay here for longer than his search for N. He does have a few books in his bag to pass the more sleepless nights, but he's read all of them at least a hundred times by now. He still manages to notice new facts and tidbits about Pokémon each time he goes through the 'dex, and sometimes he wonders if N knew all of it already. He wonders -

No, no, don't be sad about N right now. He can't be sad right now.

"Unova is nice," Touya replies, though that's... not much of an answer, actually. It's a little bit of a cop-out, he has to admit. He's just not sure how to talk to someone who doesn't always answer, being a bit of a hermit himself. "Um, i-it's a pretty urban area, f-for the most part. We have forests and deserts and caves, b-but the cities are usually pretty big. Th-The area I'm from is the only more rural area in the region." Pause. "Uh, Pokémon also tend to jump out at you more than in other regions. I-I guess it's because there's so many people that they're just not scared of anything or anyone."

"Mm." Not really an answer, though.

Touya absently scrolls through his 'dex again, looking for anything else he could possibly rant about. He'll admit that ranting about N is easy, but even that feels a little weird when he's getting minimal responses. "W-We have a pretty good variety of Pokémon. The only fairy-type Pokémon native to Unova is Whimsicott, though. I-I actually left the region before they classified it as a fairy, though."

"Fairy?"

Right, he might not know about that development if he's been living on a mountain. "Y-Yeah, um, i-it's a new type classification for some Pokémon. I-I think it was something about a fairy-type evolution of Eevee, a-and no one could figure out what type it was, s-so, um, I guess they made a new type for it."

"Hm." Pause. "Eevee?"

"Yeah, um, a-an evolution of it. I guess it evolves when it's very affectionate with its trainer. It's called Sylveon, I-I think."

Red nods a bit, then that's all.

Touya sighs, feeling more out of place than ever. He's an introvert, so he tends to let other people take the reigns in conversation. Not having that here is making this very difficult, though. He can't blame Red for being quiet when he's pretty shy himself, no, but it does make this a bit awkward. Touya remembers when he and Cheren met for the first time, and they almost didn't speak at all, while Touko and Bianca were chattering on about anything under the sun. There's some need for balance in that way, then, a need for a speaker and a listener. As to how he and N got along so swimmingly when they're both more on the quiet side, though, Touya isn't sure. Maybe some people just click like that. Maybe -

A loud, almost roaring bird's cry echoes from somewhere else in the cave system, startling him out of his thoughts. Touya is immediately on the defensive, but Red remains more or less neutral.

"Wh-What was that?"

"Mm." Very informative. Red hops up and heads out of the cave, and curiously, Touya follows.

"Um, s-so are we looking for?"

Red stops and looks back at Touya, then at his hands. "Cold."

Uh. "Y-Yeah, I'll be fine. I-I can put my gloves on, would that be better?"

Red glances at his leg. "Any better?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." He... might not be, but he's too curious. Red nods a bit and keeps walking along, and Touya follows him once he's bundled up a little more.

Following Red through the snow is difficult, _insanely_ difficult. It's not just that they're up to their knees in ice, not just that his leg is kinda busted, but even the wind that blows the snow around them makes it impossible to see. Touya has to stumble after Red to make sure he doesn't lose him in the snow, but Red seems more or less nonplussed, unimpressed at the sheer force of nature. Touya has to wonder how long Red has been up here to be totally unfazed by the storm, but something tells him not to ask. Bringing that up just _feels_ like a bad idea, and he's often one to trust his gut.

"Where are you going?" Touya calls over the wind, barely audible to even himself. Red just waves him along, and that's that.

Finally, _finally,_ they reach another opening in the mountain face, maybe only five feet tall at best. Even Red has to crouch down to get into the chamber, waiting just long enough for Touya to clamber after him. The earth inside the cave spirals downward toward a pit in the center; the shape seems to be causing a swirling wind through the dizzying area.

"Where are we - h-hey!"

 _Where are we going?,_ but Red is literally just hopping and sliding expertly down the cliffs, twenty or thirty foot drops that would ordinarily hurt a person if they weren't watching their step. Watching Red move through the cave - no, watching Red move through the whole mountain is mesmerizing. It's like he belongs here somehow, like he's a part of the land, and yet the softness of his voice and his timid nature seem so, so unfitting for Mount Silver.

Touya takes the longer, safer way down. While his leg is less than agonizingly aching, he's still not great on his feet. Yeah, coming along was a bad idea, but he's too curious for his own good sometimes.

"This way," Red calls softly, his voice bouncing delicately off the walls. Another small opening in the earth brings them deeper into the mountain. The pools of water here are a deep, almost murky blue, water dripping into them from small cracks in the rock and from the stalactites on the ceiling.

"How deep in the mountain are we?" Touya asks.

"Pretty deep." Red sends out Blastoise, aiming the beam of light not at the ground, but at the pool of water to their right. The turtle emerges out of the water and nods to Red. "Wait here."

"Wait, what - "

Too late, as Red is already sliding back down the rocks, catching himself on the the last foothold at the surface of the lake. He hops onto Blastoise's back and surfs up to another cavern, climbing up and heading into the darkness.

Touya just... stares. How is he so agile? Sure, he's been here for awhile, but Touya has never met anyone else capable of controlling their free-fall like that. That's just impressive.

Maybe N could do it, since he likes hiking.

Touya lets himself sigh loud, exasperated. He sits down on the cold ground, giving his leg a reprieve from carrying his weight. A dull, droning ache starts to pulse through it, which will hopefully pass quickly enough. If it gets more painful, he'll have plenty of trouble getting back _up_ the mountain, and it's now that he re-realizes what a bad idea this was. He just needed to get out of that little chamber, though. He was getting stir-crazy. He can understand just a fraction of how N felt, cooped up in some tiny little room for much of his life. What N did to Touya's mindset is odd, how he made him seek adventure without even trying. It's just another little piece of N that Touya loves.

Red comes back out of the cavern twenty minutes later, and _holy fucking shit -_

_"Trrre!"_

"Is that Moltres?" Touya calls, shocked and definitely confused. Red is just... with Moltres, he's just with this legendary phoenix as if it were some Pidove on the side of the road. More astonishing is that it seems to have a piece of paper tied to its foot with a bit of rope.

Red nods at Touya, but that's not an explanation for anything. Moltres, _the_ Moltres, nudges Red with its beak, nudging him towards the water. In a flash of fire, the bird flies away and disappears, and Red weaves his way back up to Touya.

"...wh-what... what the hell?" What else can he say?

Red actually grins a little, jolts as if he's stifling a laugh, the first instance of joy Touya has seen in their time knowing each other. He waves Touya along and explains on their way back.

"Moltres is a friend of a friend. He sends stuff up here sometimes. I wrote a letter to bring back to him."

"Oh." So someone is just casually friends with Moltres. "Um, wh-who is it?"

"He's Fire."

He's - okay, that _could_ be slang, but Touya feels like that colloquialism is way out of Red's vocabulary, so that doesn't make any sense. "His name is Fire?"

Red nods. "Sometimes I have friends."

Hm. "Well, you always have friends. A-As long as you've made friends with someone, d-doesn't mean they're not your friend when they're away."

That seems to strike something in Red, makes him tense and loosen in the same moment. "Oh."

"Yeah." Pause. "Th-That's why I still consider N a friend. I-I haven't seen him in awhile, but I know we'll still get along when we meet again."

Red is quiet for a few minutes as they spiral back toward the snow. "How do you know?"

He has to shrug. "I-I gotta be honest with you, I'm not really sure. I-I just... I can feel it. It's just one of those things that feels right, s-so you don't question it, y'know what I mean?"

"Hm." Another minute of quiet as the wind starts to hit them. Red murmurs something too quiet to hear, but Touya can make out the words _Green_ and _friend,_ and that's all he needs to hear.

"It's like how Green still considers you a friend, e-even though you're up here. It's not like people just stop liking you out of the blue."

Red says nothing, so they continue their ascent silently.

"...sorry," Touya says at last, once they finally reach the system of alcoves where Red has been living for however many years. "I-I don't mean to do or say anything out of line, b-but I just, um... I'm uh... I-I guess I'm trying to figure my own thoughts out, too."

"It's okay." Silence again.

They enter Red's cave, and he immediately throws himself down into the blankets. His silence is deafening, and with each passing second, Touya fears the worst. He fears he's already said, done too much, and that Red is going to melt down all over again. He... he really has no way of comforting him, unfortunately. He doesn't know him nearly well enough to know what to say, what to do, so the meltdowns are just that, just a champion falling apart on top of the world with no one to turn to, nowhere to run. Touya wonders if he could convince Red to go back down the mountain, if only to visit Green for a few minutes, if only to get some heat on his skin again. If Red has been this stubborn for this long, though, Touya sure as hell isn't going to be the voice of reason he needs.

"Are you okay?" Touya asks softly. Red rolls over, eyes fixed on the ceiling, and suddenly he speaks.

"Are you a champion?"

"U-Um, yeah...? Y-Yeah, why, um, why do you ask?" Rather, why is he just now making this connection? Touya doesn't think he let on that he was the Unova Champion, did he?

"Is it okay for you?"

Uh. "What do you mean?"

Red is quiet, then he rolls over. Seems that's that, but he wants to know more.

"I-I mean, I didn't mind being the champion." Touya sits next to him, resting his leg - ow, yeah, hiking was a bad idea. "I-I think the role got passed off to another trainer, though, s-since I was gone for so long. Her name's Rosa, I-I dunno," _I dunno if you've heard of her,_ but of course he hasn't, because he lives on a god-forsaken mountain, "I dunno what she's been up to lately."

"Did it ever bother you?"

"I mean... yeah," he admits. "I feel like I'm not really cut out to be a champion, s-so sometimes it felt kinda weird and unnatural. I-I mean, I basically disbanded Team Plasma a few years back, s-so that got me the whole _Prodigal Champion_ title, b-but I'm not... y'know, n-not really..."

 _I'm not like you,_ but that's actually not entirely true, and it almost seems that perhaps Red isn't the kind of person to be a champion either. It's not that he's bad at battling, not that any of his accomplishments mean less than they seem to, but it's this timidness, these nerves and this avoidance of everything and anything that's completely uncharacteristic of a Pokémon Champion. Touya has been pursuing the Plasma case for awhile now, but he's avoided doing anything else in the process. He sure as hell avoided battling anyone, since he left only a month after he became the champion. He couldn't take N's disappearance sitting down.

"I'm just not cut out for it," Touya finishes the thought at last, and Red confirms his insecurities.

"Neither am I."

"I mean, I'm pretty good at battling - a-and like, you're _really_ good, but - "

"Bullshit."

Touya almost chokes at how curt that was. "I-I'm sorry?"

"Do you know how many times I beat Green in a battle out of sheer luck?"

He has to laugh a little. "God, I'm right there with you. I almost feel like I just lucked out with critical hits when I battled Alder - h-he was the Champion of the Unova League before me, b-but he passed the position off to Iris after I took off. Then Rosa came along, a-and - look, she's great at battles, but she's also just, like..." What is he trying to say? "She has the personality of a champion. S-She's totally unafraid of anything, she doesn't take anyone's shit, a-and if anything goes wrong, she's the first one to step in. I-I haven't actually met her, of course," he admits, "b-but I did a video conference with her once on an off-day, and she just has the right air about her. Between that and all the interviews she's done, sh-she definitely makes a better champion than I do."

"Ethan."

"Hm?"

"Ethan is like that," Red explains. "Not like her, but a better champion than me. He's more charismatic. He likes helping people whenever he can. He's outgoing in a quiet way." Pause. "He can talk."

Touya grins, a bit bitter and a bit sweet, empathy and sympathy or vice-versa. "I might not be as quiet as you, but I'm not much of a talker either when it comes to groups of more than three. Social anxiety kinda does that to you."

"Oh, I know."

"I'm just trying to slowly work out of it, though. I-I think traveling and working on the case have helped - th-that, and N, too."

Red falls quiet again. Maybe fifteen minutes later, Red breaks the silence.

"When did you start missing him?"

"Immediately."

Another few minutes of quiet.

"Do you ever wanna go back?"

"To Unova?" Red nods at Touya. "Yeah, sometimes. I need to find N first, th-then we'll both go back."

"Do people call you?"

"Um, sometimes. I, uh," and he hates to admit this, "I kinda ghost people, though. I-I really oughta call my mom when I head back out, n-now that I think about it."

"Not the same."

He looks at Red, who looks... the emotion is indecipherable, actually. "What's not the same?"

"Not the same as seeing her."

"Yeah, I know, I-I - "

"If it was, Green would be okay with me staying here."

Silence. Red continues.

"He stopped coming up here because I didn't come down. I don't blame him. It was harder on him than it was on me. I can handle this stuff better than he can, so he left." Pause. "Writing isn't the same. It's colder. Too far. Calling is the same. You can barely get a call out from here anyway."

Touya feels a pang of guilt wrack his body, a chill that's been holding back for years of travel. "Oh."

"I like it up here."

Touya has to take this leap. He knows it's a bad idea, he knows this'll probably hurt, he knows he's stepping way out of his lane, but -

"You don't really believe that."

Red looks at Touya with an expression of both irritation and guilt, offense and defense in the same breath. "I..."

"If you liked it up here, you wouldn't have to tell yourself that."

No answer.

"Why _would_ you like it up here, anyway? It's freezing."

"Safe."

"And nowhere else is?"

"No."

"I beg to differ."

"I know," Red says louder than usual, more frustrated and exasperated. "I hate it. I hate _this._ I wanna... I don't know what I want."

Shit, he sounds like he's tearing up again. "I-I'm sorry, that was all out of line. I want to help, but I guess I - "

"You don't want to help me."

Silence.

"This is about N."

Now _he's_ getting called out. "What do you mean?"

Red sits up, now. "You want me to go back so you can find N."

Uh... "I-I mean... I want you to go back so you can be happy, a-and I wanna find N, but those aren't exactly related."

"Right now, I'm N."

What the -

"You can't find him, so _I'm_ N. You're asking _me_ to come home so you can be happy. If I say yes, then N will come home, and you'll feel better. You're talking to one runaway and practicing for your own."

...fuck, is _that_ what he's doing? Is that why he's trying to comfort Red and ease him back home?

"What you don't understand is that I'm more stubborn than him."

"You don't know him," Touya replies, finally hearing something he can answer.

"I know me. And I know I'm more stubborn." Pause. "You told me he doubted himself. He doubted the whole _Pokémon liberation_ thing. He doubted everything because of you, and that ended well enough. I can't doubt myself, though. I can't doubt that it's safe here. If I do, nowhere is."

Red falls quiet, and Touya keeps the silence. He's onto something.

"But this hurts. The ground is too hard and the snow is too cold. I'd rather go somewhere warm. Sometimes I dream of beaches. I don't really like the coast, though. They're nice dreams."

Now he's done, so Touya prompts him. "What makes them nice dreams if you don't like the coast?"

"He's with me."

 _He_ being Green, of course. "He seems like he'd like the beach."

"He does. We used to go a lot. We'd go down to Cinnabar." Pause. "Please don't go to the east coast. Riptide," added as an afterthought, as if it isn't entirely about a riptide. "Wonder if he goes anywhere else. He said Johto has nice beaches. Cianwood, or something."

"Maybe you can visit sometime."

"No."

God, he answers so fast when it comes to that. "But you don't even like it up here."

"It's safe here."

"Well, it was safe for me to stay in Nuvema, but it wasn't making me happy."

"But it was safe."

"It wasn't worth being lonely. L-Look," and he has to justify himself every time he says this, "I-I have all my friends and family back there, i-it's not like I was alone. It's not even like I don't like their company, b-but N is special, I have an investigation to solve, a-and I miss him. I'd rather risk my life climbing a mountain and having panic attacks in a desert than letting him be _gone._ Does that make any sense?"

"Lonely, but not alone." He almost laughs. "I hated that. I hate crowds. They're all down there."

"And who's up here?"

"You. Pokémon. Me."

"Green?"

Touya looks at the other champion, who is silently crying. He speaks with a voice that's somehow smoother than usual. "No."

Then he says something odd.

"I wanna be free."

"You are."

Because he is, Red really is free to go back down whenever the hell he wants. He's not cosmically tied to this mountain, he hasn't been snowed in or trapped by a rockslide. He isn't chained to any walls or frozen in place. No, Red could literally leave at any given moment, but he doesn't; as to why, Touya will never know. All he knows is that the desire is there, he _wants_ to leave, but he's holding himself back.

"Not really."

"You really are."

"Something."

"...something?"

"Something's keeping me here."

"Yeah. That something is you, Red."

There's a sudden light of recognition in Red's eyes, and despite only knowing him for a little over a day, Touya feels like this is something unusual; no, maybe even new. He doesn't think he's the be-all end-all of Red's dilemma, he doesn't think he's about to run home _right now,_ but something clicked here.

"Me."

"Yeah. I've been there, too. I-I actually started my whole Pokémon journey kinda late because of it. I ended up panicking the day we were supposed to leave, and, um... yeah." He adds, "Cheren and Bianca were really nice about it, though. They actually stayed back with me for awhile until I was ready to go. I had to force myself to leave on the day we were rescheduled to head out, but... I mean, I did it. I was a mess for most of the day, but, uh, I-I - it was a start, you know?"

"Mm." Red's eyes are closed, either with fatigue or pensiveness.

"So... just take little steps, okay? Go a little further down than normal next time you train, or something."

"Not safe there." 

"Maybe it's not. Maybe you'll get comfortable with it."

"I've tried. I can't do it."

"Have you tried it alone?"

"Always."

"There's your problem." Red looks at him again, a silent, questioning gaze. "Why are you dealing with this on your own? That doesn't really work too well."

"It's fine."

"Is it?"

No answer. Red shuts his eyes again.

"Wanna be safe."

"Your Pokémon keep you safe."

"Wanna keep them safe, too."

"That's what friends are for." Touya sees _Green_ written on Red's lips, but his voice never comes. "Like Green."

"...I feel like he has to hate me by now."

"He doesn't."

"He should."

"He won't."

They both know what this game is by now. "I'm not N."

"And I'm not Green."

Red rolls over and shoves his face in the pillow. "Stop being smart," he mumbles, and Touya grins.

"I'm just saying that we need to keep going. I need to keep looking for N, and you need to try coming down. Even if it's only an inch further than you've gone before, that's progress, that really is progress. That's an inch closer to him."

Red sits up and looks toward the entrance of the cave, eyes glimmering with thoughts and possibilities. "What would you do if N didn't come with you?"

"Well," Touya replies, "if you say I'm practicing on you, probably something like this."

A second of laughter, honest laughter comes from Red. The rest of his giggle is stifled, but that heats up the room like a star.

"Well, what else am I gonna do?" Touya laughs a little too, because he can't be annoyed with someone this soft. "I could travel with him, I guess, but I wanna bring him back to Unova. I wanna overwrite all the bad memories he has there with good ones. I... I want to make him happy."

Red is smiling softly, longingly. "Me too."

"I know he'd be happy to see you again."

"Maybe I'll write."

"Maybe. That's a good step to take."

"...food first. Then I'll write."

Red hums while he cooks, and despite the lightness in the room, Touya drowns when he hears N's own humming echo in his memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey remember when i said i'd do more w this fic in August and never got back to it??? here's more sad boyes!!!! minimal proofreading we die like sleep-deprived fic authors


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